10 Quotes About Intimacy

It is a choice to be intimate with one another, and it is a choice that isn’t always easy to make. Keeping to ourselves and having walls up is the safer, easier way to live, but what lies on the other side of that wall is worth giving up the comfort to pursue.  It’s a risk, but it’s worth it.

Have you ever been on the inside of a waterfall?

If you have, you know it is pretty awesome, and if you haven’t… I suggest you try it out!

You feel safe and protected, encircled by a fortress of impenetrable rocks on one side and a powerful wall of water on the other. But, there is one problem–when you look through the waterfall to the other side, the rest of the world looks distorted and blurry, as do you to the outside world looking in.

At times, this is how I feel when I am avoiding vulnerability or true intimacy, as if I’m hiding in a cave behind a waterfall looking at a world distorted and blurry.

It seems safer to remain in the enclosed space of the known, where I have control of all of the outcomes, than to step out into the open where I am exposed and vulnerable and susceptible to getting hurt. The only problem is that the world becomes a little distorted when I look at it from within my fortress. More than that, the people around me can’t experience the real me when I am hidden behind that wall.

This year, I am learning a lot about what it means to step through my personal barriers of fear and insecurity and into true intimacy, and I’m just now beginning to discover how refreshing it can be on the other side. Life is too short to continue avoiding intimacy out of insecurity, fear, or in fact anything.

A full and free life is available to us right here, in the present, as long as we’re willing to step out of hiding.

At first, intimacy seems like it might be too scary to bear. But the promise of transformation and freedom that lies just on the other side is more beautiful and real and exhilarating than you can possibly imagine.

I have a thing for writing things down that resonate me, whether it is when I read the Bible or a really good book or having a deep talk with a friend – when something hits me I record it. Below are some of my favorite quotes I’ve collected on intimacy over the years and I pray they hit a cord in you as well:

10 Quotes About Intimacy

1) “Vulnerability opens the gateway for growth and more intimacy. It directs your trajectory from the head to the heart, and in turn closer to Jesus.
–Emily Jamieson


2) “…at some point I realized, whether true or not, there was something wrong with me. Either I didn’t measure up to the standards of my parents, the kids at school made fun of me, or I came to believe I was inferior. “Shame”, he said, caused me to hide. “And that,” he said, “ is a problem. Because the more we hide, the harder it is to be known. And we have to be known to connect.”
Donald Miller, Scary Close


3) “The reality of trying to be bigger and smarter than we are is that it sort of works, and then falls apart. It’s true people are attracted to intelligence and strength and even money, but attraction isn’t intimacy. What attracts doesn’t always connect us.”
Donald Miller, Scary Close

4) “Perhaps that’s another reason true intimacy is so frightening. It’s the one thing we all want, and must give up control to get.”
Donald Miller, Scary Close


5) “I don’t know why it is exactly, but the people with the healthiest self-esteem are also the greatest at intimacy. I’m not talking about arrogant people. I’m talking about people who know they are both good and bad, yet believe at the deepest level they are really good for people. It’s a beautiful moment when somebody wakes up to this reality, when they realize God created them so other people could enjoy them, not just endure them.”
Donald Miller, Scary Close


6) “I’m convinced honesty is the soil intimacy grows in…half the battle to healing the soul [is] finding a safe place where people could tell the truth about who they were…If honesty is the key to intimacy, it means we don’t have to be perfect, and, moreover, we don’t have to pretend to be perfect.”
–Donald Miller, Scary Close

7) “Let my love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones. Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.”
–Jesus Calling (January 25th)


8) “The more fully we live into ourselves, the more impact we will have. Acting may get us the applause we want, but taking a risk on being ourselves is the only path toward true intimacy. And true intimacy, the exchange of affection between two people who are not lying, is transforming.”
–Donald Miller, Scary Close


9) So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
–James 4:8 (MSG translation)


10) “I don’t mean to overstate what is yet unknown, but part of me believes when the story of earth is told, all that will be remembered is the truth we exchanged. The vulnerable moments. The terrifying risk of love and the care we took to cultivate it. And all the rest, the distracting noises of insecurity and the flattery and the flashbulbs will flicker out like a turned-off television.”
–Donald Miller, Scary Close

Step Into Intimacy

I hope these words served as an encouragement for you so that you might feel inspired to challenge your personal fears and jump through barriers that keeping you from true intimacy and vulnerability. I know they’ve helped me. When you’ve read through them all, ask yourself this question:

“What fear or lie is trapping me and holding me back from living into a life of freedom and greater intimacy with others and God?”

My commission to you is to ask God to give you an opportunity to challenge your fears one by one, and I pray that one by one you would be freed from your hiding place.

Step into intimacy, and step into REAL life.

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